I'm alone....

It just dawned on me. I'm alone. For the first time in...well, as long as I can remember. With the divorce finally moving ahead, I'm all by myself.

I mean, I have my kids, and my mother and brothers, and friends, but I'm missing that...Something else.

Companionship.

This will be the first year that I'll spend the Holidays without a partner. And I don't know how I'll handle that, really. I've always had someone there with me, even if it was Ed. Now, I'll be the one in the corner...by myself. While everyone is talking and laughing with thier spouses and mates, I'll be...alone.

When people are kissing under the mistletoe...I will be the one on the side who watches.

When the clock strikes midnight on New Years Eve....I wont be kissing my someone special.


*sighs* I guess it just hit me all at once.

And honestly...It's depressing me right now.



So, I thought about it all last night and heres what I want in a life partner:

I want someone who will not only love me, but care for me, trust me, and respect me.

I want him to laugh with me, cry with me, and laugh at my dumb jokes.

I want him to be a kid at heart, but be an adult when I need him too..

I want someone who will watch cartoons with me, someone who likes all those silly sci-fi things..

I want a guy I can take to the movies to see movies like F4 and action flicks..

I want to be able to roll over in the night and know what someones there....when I have bad dreams, someone I can cuddle with..

I want someone who will kill spiders for me, and not laugh at me when I ask him to do it..

I want someone I can just sit and talk too, just for no reason..

I want him to be smart, funny, and more importantly a friend..

I want someone who I know will stand my me, no matter what...

Someone who will hold me in his arms and tell me that everything will be alright in the world...

I guess I just want to be loved....and cared for..



Is that asking too much?